


The Chad Thing

by FloralEyeBalls



Series: Monster Month [7]
Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Fake Dating, First Meeting, Fluff, Halloween, M/M, Patrick forces Pete into being his boyfriend, Pete likes it, halloween party, sexy nuns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 02:15:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5112572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FloralEyeBalls/pseuds/FloralEyeBalls
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay so you see that guy dressed like a sexy nun? That's my ex-boyfriend and I need to not be a single loser right now...please?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Chad Thing

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN! I actually posted fic all month lol I'm so committed and talented love me

"Okay so you see that guy dressed like a sexy nun? That's my ex-boyfriend and I need to not be a single loser right now...please?" Patrick said to the first guy who didn't look like a serial killer at this Halloween party Gerard dragged him to. 

"You want me to like... fake date you?" The dude said, at least he caught on quick, even if he did sound more than dubious. 

"For like fifteen minutes, no longer I swear! Just hold and hand and laugh at my jokes okay? I'll buy you drinks? Dinner? Whatever you want! Quick please he's coming over here!" Patrick lost all dignity in his mad attempt to impress Chad, the most stereotypical ex-boyfriend possible. Patrick hated how much a cliché he used to be. As Chad got closer, Patrick just grabbed the stranger's hand and forced him into Patrick's web of lies. 

"Patrick?" Chad said in his stupid football playing jock voice. 

"Oh hi Chad? What are you doing here?" Patrick decided to go in slow, better not rush right in with 'look at my sexy boyfriend! I'm so happy without you! ha I bet you regret cheating on me!' 

"Just you know...partying. What are you doing with Pete Wentz?" 

"With...?" Patrick momentarily forgot himself then quickly looked at the guy, who he guessed was Pete Wentz, and said "oh just you know stuff."

"We're kinda dating." Pete said and held up their joined hands. "Who are you again?" 

"I'm Chad, Patrick's ex? Hasn't he told you about me?"

"No, not really? But it's nice to meet you Chad." Pete said with a clearly fake smile and peppy voice. 

"So how long have you been dating? Last I heard Pete Wentz doesn't date."'

"Yeah well...Patrick" Pete hesitated on the name but moved on with confidence after getting a nod from Patrick, "here changed that for me. He made me want to settle down."

"Yeah well...good luck with that." Chad said like he meant the exact opposite and finally left, probably to go harass another of his many exs. 

"Oh my god thank you so much! That was perfect!" Patrick gushed to Pete. He really appreciated it. "How do you know Chad?" 

"Ah no problem dude, always happy to help out someone with an ex that obnoxious, and I don't know Chad and I don't think I ever want to." Pete laughed a little at the end. Patrick liked his laugh. 

"How does Chad know you then?" 

"Um I don't mean to sound like an asshole but this is my party...how are you here without knowing who I am?" 

"Oh fuck right, Pete Wentz! I'm here with Gerard Way, I didn't really listen to his explanation I just got dragged along for the ride." 

"Knowing Gerard, that's fully understandable. What's not understandable is how I've never been introduced to you before though." Pete decided to leave the 'you're cute' unsaid, he was known for coming on too strong and being let down. 

"ah...I don't really get out much. Especially not to parties like this, no offence, but it's not my scene."

"Understandable, there's too many guys like Chad at these things." Pete shuddered dramatically at Chad's name. 

"Yeah..." Patrick laughed, "I'm sorry about that, he's a douche and I don't even know why I went there." 

"It's okay man, we all have regretful ex's. I once dated a guy who drew birds on his face with eyeliner." 

"From what Chad said I didn't think you dated?"

"Not so much anymore...I just haven't found anyone who really seems worth the stress of dating lately." Pete knew it sounding like a fancy cover for 'I'm a slut' but he was kind of being honest. When you didn't date you didn't have to worry about emotions or whose family you were having Christmas with, all you had to do was make sure you didn't scream the wrong name when you came. "I'm hoping to change that though, I think it's time I settled down. Mum's worried I'm going to die alone and childless." 

"It's what all mums fear most." Patrick nodded, he knew that speech well. 

"Hey....why don't we continue fake dating for a while? Y'know, for the sake of our mums?" Pete offered, he knew it was a bad idea, but Pete Wentz is made of about 80% bad ideas. 

"What? Really? That's insane!" Patrick was shocked that Pete even agreed to fake date him once, yet alone make a thing out of it, a thing so official he wants to show his mum! Patrick wasn't sure if he could lie to his mum, even if he wanted to. And he hates to admit it, but Pete's so out of his league even his mum might question it. "I mean...ah if you wanted to? My mum is pretty hard to fool but if we like...work on it I'm sure we could make it believable." 

"Awesome!" Pete beamed, "I'll give you my number and we'll work it out yeah?" 

"Yeah." Patrick smiled back and handed Pete his phone. "And again, thanks for helping me out with the Chad thing."

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself so much that a ended a series with a gateway into another series!
> 
> ...but yeah if u would read more of this fake dating au tell me and I'll make it happen? 
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading my spoopy fics all month. have a great Halloween and I hope you get very drunk and eat like four packets of m&ms


End file.
